Leaped out of plunging helicopter onto top of burning skyscraper, in order to prevent nuclear secrets from falling into the hands of the Mafia;
Complimented an elegant lady in a restaurant on her grace, poise and classical fashion style; and was punched through a plate-glass window by her jealous husband;
Was in a championship game of chess versus the world grandmaster, and “things just escalated” when I checkmated him;
Fought off a hungry polar bear with nothing other than a piece of driftwood;
Was not looking where I was going, and walked smack into the wing of the airplane, causing the metal frame of my glasses to inflict a gigantic circular bruise.
The Gods of the ancient Greeks were jealous of man’s pretensions, and required ritual humiliation and sacrifice. The Aztec Gods had the same ideas, but their requirements were somewhat more gruesome. The mysterious forces that control science are no exception. I guess that yesterday it was “my turn” to deliver the Daily Sacrificial Stupid.
And; by doing so; prevented said Gods of Chance from getting their revenge in other ways: such as aircraft crashes, bouts of diarrhea, English food, or any of the other disasters that regularly befall expeditions to distant places.
Just ‘being intrepid’ is hard enough; being consistently suave and well-dressed while simultaneously being intrepid is almost impossible for anyone other than Sean Connery.
But it’s a good story and allows me to glower very convincingly.
